My blog cherry has just been popped faster than a teenaged boy having sex for the first time.

Now before we begin lets just clear a few things up for you blog aficionados out there.

1. I am not Mr. Hooooooblers, I can in no way guarantee the level of hilarity that his blog has to offer. At best, I can fill the empty void/addiction that is your blog reading lives, when Mr. Hooooo0blers is too busy banging the shit out of an Ugo, or is away at the cabin for all those long blog-less summer months (what a dickfarm leaving us hanging for so long)

2. Matt Gray if you bitch I will destroy you

3. There are no rules for comments, please feel free to disguise yourself as whoever you feel necessary in order to keep the funny train a rolling

4. The blog WILL NOT be updated while I am at work. I spend a lot of time on facebook at work, and I am usually pretty bored, however writing this much at one time is exhausting, much like banging the shit out of an Ugo. Mr. Hooooooblers must have the stamina of a marathon runner.

5. Periodically this blog will just feature stories from our youth, these stories can be meant to demean and humiliate its characters. This is not always my intention, but sometimes is, as I hate people.

Now lets begin.

Today as I was walking to Subway with a co-worker for lunch I met a group of teenagers sitting in the restaurant. It was a very diverse group of kids, male, female, white, brown, asian, punk, goth, and rapper. They were arguing about how the government decides on how much the government takes for income tax. Now this being about 1230 in the afternoon give or take ten minutes I was curious why these children were not at school, perhaps learning the answer to the very argument they were having. The black kid was convinced the government looks at your ethnic background and taxes you accordingly in order to keep stereotypes alive. Classic blackman conspiracy theorist/hater of white people AKA The Man. The Asian kid was trying to convince them it is based of an income bracket. While the white kid was telling them that income tax is just a scam and the government is actually using that money to fund wars. While partially true all that was going through my mind while listening to this conversation was "What is the best way to punch every one of these kids in the head and then get out of the restaurant before the police are phoned."

Then it dawned on me, it was impossible. It was about as possible as finding the G-spot and making it out alive. I am not Indiana Jones or some sort of descendant of Indiana Jones. I cannot go tromping through some ancient temple looking for the G-spot. The first emotional trap I hit I am going down hard (usually its tears, women crying is a bitch move and makes me want to slap you so hard in the ovaries that your G-spot is destroyed, congratulations now no one gets to have fun during the sex but me). But I digress, the impossible part was not hitting them in face, that was quite easy actually, the difficult part was when I needed to escape with my food. 

Anyways, that was my blog for the day, it was probably lame and Matt Gray will probably tear me a knew one (hopefully it exposes my G-spot) for not being better than Hooooooblers blog, but whatever, I can't get worse can I?