matt gray still has not posted an update.

i suggest we all ridicule him until a new update appears.

and yes i realize that this blog entry is late as it is current 2:37 am saturday, but alas, i had things to do, but here i am still finding time to fit this into my busy schedule. unlike matt gray who is now done school for this semester, but yet still continues to not update the blog. i guess matt gray has finally cracked up the pressure that is updating the blog everyday. i however refuse to, once matt gray gives up, and yes he will give up (these are the blog wars version two point oh: blog re-incarnate) as he does not like pressure and cracks under it faster than some sort of marshmallow with a cinderblock on top of it.

i would really like a marshmallow right now.

i am not waiting another 45 goddamned minutes to see if matt gray makes a blog post.

day 1 of no blog

i have noticed violent mood swings because of the anger over the shenanigans matt gray is going to pull with his blog. and there will be none of this time zone stuff matt gray! if you get to do it so do i, and therefore it is midnight somewhere and thus you missed a day.

i say good day to you sir!

No blog today. I don't understand why I am always so disappointed with Matt Gray's lack of blog posts, it seems almost as if it is routine that he does not post. Matt Gray is the new Adam, I the new Matt Gray. Who will be the new me?

Today any and all withdrawal symptoms have been muscled out by the fact that I have a chemical burn on my right ankle...it is extremely painful, and is going to keep me up all night.

Quote of the Day:

"Suck it blue!" - Tucker

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gray is about to get a taste of his own rainbow. 

Because he has not updated in such a long time, I will count today as day one of withdrawal. It has been so long since the last update I have lost track of time.

Today I have noticed an increase of orange juice intake, as well as a mild case of the shakes. I feel lightheaded and my eyes appear to be playing tricks on me.

Matt Gray's hatred of anything blog related has become extremely evident, as he no longer updates the very blog he promised to update everyday with Hooooobler's quality material. His quotes are copy-pasta'd and are in English. I prefer my quotes to be original and in some form of dead language being brought back into common usage through quotes and studies of twenty year old university students. Also his MoPo was weaksauce, and Matt Gray wishes he was in John Malkovich. 

Since everyone else has some sort of dunce corner I may as well make one, and only one, this is the lowest thing that you can ever be called in Fantastical Shenanigans, and today, the one time and life long prize is awarded to...ah to hell with it we all know who is getting it.

Matt Gray.

Matt Gray is the first ever killer of all the is holy and good in the world and the devil incarnate as well as a cockmongerer.

thats right.

We all know why, he killed the blog. His constant picking and proding at Mr. Hooooobler's very being has caused him to collapse in a mess of tears and panic, and anger. Yes tears, I cried, I will miss these times.  Matt Gray has successfully ruined the Hoooooobler's institute, and hope you are happy. 

I for one, want Mr. Hooooooblers to come back to the blog world, but he clearly needs some time to collect himself, and he can take all the time he needs. 

Matt Gray, I hope that during your withdrawl you get some sort of unfortunate symptom....like dysentary....or fleas, yeah fleas, lets go with fleas. But some kind of super flea that only stays on you because of your shameful shameful act.

So I feel that it is necessary that everyone re-read my eulogy post that preceded this one.

Today is a bit of a sad day.

The blog wars were short. Words were exchanged and verbal blows ran rampant across blogger.com. This my friends is the end of an era. I have a feeling this will be like the long cabin filled, blog-less summers we have come to dread so much. Although I hate to see what kind of symptoms Matt Gray will go through these coming months. I almost don't want to see read his blog due to the level of sadness I will feel for him. 

I saw on facebook today, that Adam has announced to Matt Gray and the world that the blog is now taking a back burner to Adam's love life. We all saw this coming, but we never wanted to accept it. We were in denial, and now we must face the music. The music had a fantastic exciting intro, and Matt Gray will agree with me on this, but the climax came much to soon. The verses, and hooks, and choruses although exciting were never as good as the intro. The skillet count, the original wall of shames, the polls of the week, the proverbial wooden spoon in the proverbial pot getting stirred by said spoon. It was all great, right down to the punctuation. Even the post Laurie Permack made that was dictated but not read. Laurie's level of grammatical finesse is no match for the Hoooooobler's institute.

Bob Dylan once wrote "the times, they are a changin" he is right. This is the first step through the door of a blogless world. Neil Armstrong took the first step for mankind, but the Blog step into the foot print and changed everything we knew, loved, but most of all hated. Especially Layton. I don't know if I want to go back and live in the Neil Armstrong world. The Hooooobler's foot print on the world was so much better. Mr. Hooooobler's reach influenced people around the world, with this mysterious Adrian character that was introduced to the blog by a one Daniel Raber.

So I tip my hat to you Mr. Hooooooblers, I don't like the decision for the back burning blog, but I accept it. Although I stand by my comment that this is the first stage of a blog less world. Matt Gray will need our love and support through the coming tough times, I suggest we give him a call to console him on the loss of his companion.

I would like to take this time to pledge my allegiance to "The Blog" (aka Hooooobler's blog) because it truly is the one and only blog. 

When this blog war erupts I will be taking adam's side in an attempt to quash the competition better known as Matt Gray. 

Become a fan of the blog today on facebook.

The blog needs YOU to support it!

Matt Gray is a lying bitch. He said that there would be a blog update everyday but where's the update Gray? This blog business is not as easy as it sounds is it? Yeah that's what I thought.

On a lighter note, I have decided that at 5 when I get home from a long day of freezing my ass off I am playing Gears of War 2 until I beat all fifty levels in one sitting. Thats right, I am doing this, I am stepping up. Although I may take a break and get hammered, if you feel like getting hammered at my house tonight please text me, you know the number. If you don't then by god I hate you and probably don't want you at my place residents. Most likely because you smell funny. 

Also I took Mr. Hoooooobler's advice and started carrying a clip board around at work. It has worked for the most part. One person asked why I have a clip board, I responded with it is all the stuff I have to do. I won't lie, I made up a fake list of shit to do today. But they could see the stick figure drawings on the next page through the first page.

In retrospect I drew a sweet picture depecting D-Day using only stick figures, and squares for tanks. It took about 45 minutes, but yeah, it happened, and it was fantastic. Unfortunately I threw it away by accident so I can't show you all my grand artistic skills.

What the fuck? Seriously.

I had to break up a fight today at work. This shit is ridiculous, people are stupid. I am starting my own wall of shame and these two idiots are going on it right now.

This is what happened.

Guy 1 pulled a car into the wash bay to clean it. Guy 2 asked if he wanted a hand with it so it could get done faster. Guy 1 said no. So then break time comes, and Guy 1 says to Guy 2 to finish the car. So Guy 2 gets angry and says "why didn't you just let me help then it could have been done, now I have to skip my break to finish it, your fucking retarded" They yell, then start pushing each other, and then I had to step in, with my superhero like managerial skills. These people are stupid, and are getting fired.

I am now taking suggestions on the most comical way to fire someone.

So I lied, I am at work.

However me and the mechanic that works next to my desk were talking about houses, he said his neighbor is also the developer in the area that he recently built his house. So this man, decided that he wants to own the house that is the proverbial king of the street. Quote "I don't care how much it costs or how long it takes, or whats in, I am just going to keep writing cheques until someone makes me and offer for it, and if no one does I will move in"

This house now has three of these.

http://cgi.ebay.com/WHIRLPOOL-STEAM-SHOWER-SAUNAS-HOT-TUBS-SAUNA-BATH-SPA_W0QQitemZ290269221479QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item290269221479&_trkparms=72%3A1420%7C39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C240%3A1309&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14

Now I can be lazy sometimes, but more often then not I like to stay active and move around. If I ever buy one of these things (notice they are only 700 dollars + 600 for shipping) It is going in my basement and I am never getting out. If you ever wanna come over bring a bathing suit cause I ain't leaving that thing. If you read the description it says that it has its own heater, so there is no need to keep filling it with water over and over because it gets cold. 

My blog cherry has just been popped faster than a teenaged boy having sex for the first time.

Now before we begin lets just clear a few things up for you blog aficionados out there.

1. I am not Mr. Hooooooblers, I can in no way guarantee the level of hilarity that his blog has to offer. At best, I can fill the empty void/addiction that is your blog reading lives, when Mr. Hooooo0blers is too busy banging the shit out of an Ugo, or is away at the cabin for all those long blog-less summer months (what a dickfarm leaving us hanging for so long)

2. Matt Gray if you bitch I will destroy you

3. There are no rules for comments, please feel free to disguise yourself as whoever you feel necessary in order to keep the funny train a rolling

4. The blog WILL NOT be updated while I am at work. I spend a lot of time on facebook at work, and I am usually pretty bored, however writing this much at one time is exhausting, much like banging the shit out of an Ugo. Mr. Hooooooblers must have the stamina of a marathon runner.

5. Periodically this blog will just feature stories from our youth, these stories can be meant to demean and humiliate its characters. This is not always my intention, but sometimes is, as I hate people.

Now lets begin.

Today as I was walking to Subway with a co-worker for lunch I met a group of teenagers sitting in the restaurant. It was a very diverse group of kids, male, female, white, brown, asian, punk, goth, and rapper. They were arguing about how the government decides on how much the government takes for income tax. Now this being about 1230 in the afternoon give or take ten minutes I was curious why these children were not at school, perhaps learning the answer to the very argument they were having. The black kid was convinced the government looks at your ethnic background and taxes you accordingly in order to keep stereotypes alive. Classic blackman conspiracy theorist/hater of white people AKA The Man. The Asian kid was trying to convince them it is based of an income bracket. While the white kid was telling them that income tax is just a scam and the government is actually using that money to fund wars. While partially true all that was going through my mind while listening to this conversation was "What is the best way to punch every one of these kids in the head and then get out of the restaurant before the police are phoned."

Then it dawned on me, it was impossible. It was about as possible as finding the G-spot and making it out alive. I am not Indiana Jones or some sort of descendant of Indiana Jones. I cannot go tromping through some ancient temple looking for the G-spot. The first emotional trap I hit I am going down hard (usually its tears, women crying is a bitch move and makes me want to slap you so hard in the ovaries that your G-spot is destroyed, congratulations now no one gets to have fun during the sex but me). But I digress, the impossible part was not hitting them in face, that was quite easy actually, the difficult part was when I needed to escape with my food. 

Anyways, that was my blog for the day, it was probably lame and Matt Gray will probably tear me a knew one (hopefully it exposes my G-spot) for not being better than Hooooooblers blog, but whatever, I can't get worse can I?